i am always two steps behind, three seconds too slow.
forever in need of consolation, and perpeptually inducing worry...

i am a princess by nature, renounced by ego and the desire to be that fitting puzzle in another's life.
i am a bore and a nag, but is never reminded so by those whose words deliver the most impact in my heart.

i have friends and a general public that are extremely tolerant of me and unbelievably lenient with my misdeeds...

this thing i hold in my hands i feel... i dont deserve.
but it is already here, and my selfish heart is not about to let it flutter away.


i need to learn to treasure things the right way... i realised.



i wish to hold you lovingly, not restrictig your freedom and movements, not suffocating or overwhelming...
for you who have came so freely into my hands have an equally good reason to leave if this place is not one that you can thrive on.

i want the best of me.... and i want it in my hands where i hold you.

i wonder if guys would give 2 hoots to an iris that is really more modest off....
looks-wise.


i want a balance in things of my life.... if i am damn fucking hot to dudes, i know my intellect and character should match up with my beauty too.




if someone is having an animated conversation with you via the web over a distance and you are missed by the same person at the same time..... maybe your personality needs some catching up in comparison to your physical self.

and thats.... just sad to realise.

she asked him "why do you hold my hand when i am not attractive to you?"

he said "because you are the person i love... because i want to protect you... because i want to give you a sense of security."


physical attraction has never meant so little in a love relationship before...
and with the diminishing importance of it, something else in this relationship has to take over its place....


i found, through your words, these extra bits of commitment, worth, and cherish that nourishes our relationship like nothing else can....

thank you dave.... you are really the one i was looking for.

what makes you think you are so fucking special iris?


it is a sickening feeling to discover for yourself all of a sudden, that things are definitely not what you had made them out to be.....
if that "thing" is youself.... the feeling probably sickens to the core.

there is a reason as to why birds do not grow on trees.
dont try to make it happen because your crazy mind has inspiration and urge derived from a moment of emotional overdose.


you cannot live your entire life believing that you can forever handle the things that most people cant handle in life because some half-wit told you that you are "special" once upon a time....

this is your wake up call iris, you are mortal... keep your feet to the ground.

i found a guy (who flunks chinese language in school) but bothers to dig out nj communicator when on msn because i started this chinese msn nick display habit all of a sudden.

i found a guy who leaves msn on the whole night (because of some communication breakdown the night before via internet short messaging system and my kind of cranky phone)just to allow my message to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up in the morning.

i found a guy who would patiently wait his turn to capture my attention as an aquaintance (when every other guy who fancies me is blackmailing, insisting, pursuing me to meet up with them)even if his chance was intervened by others.

i know a guy who has the courage to express his feelings towards me and do not expect any desired reaction in return.

i know a guy who wishes on my behalf, for the things i secretly wished i can wish for on my birthday.

i know a guy who apologises first.

i met a guy who left a whole pack of cigrattes (having smoked for probably as long as he could remember) at home after i mentioned to him that he should maybe smoke less.

i met a guy who spends 10 hours on msn sending voice clips of songs that could help him tell me how much i meant to a guy to me.

i met a guy who is mature when i am not and naive when everyone else isnt in love.

i have a guy who doesnt treats me like a princess but a person.

i have a guy who doesnt do nitty-critty things for me to broadcast them to the world, but kept quiet and allowed me to discover the romance of it all myself.

i have this guy who sits and watches me sleep while Dj-ing my mp3 player for me which we shared music with.

this guy is a good-looking specimen.

this guy is sincere and sensitive in love.

this guy is not afraid of cockroaches.

this guy is borned capable, and a closet-humble-bee.

this guy knows how to cherish.




this guy is, from today onwards, mine...

and "no" you can never have him.

有羽翼的心不受束缚

无心的人在人生中飘浮

往年的手机留言... 今日的寄托

今日的人生 ... 以泪挥霍

活在过去的心无宿无主

缺心的人欺笑感触



是真还是梦 ?

a new year doesnt necessary equates a new beginning...
because the person living the life is old.

my new year comes a little late in your dictionary because i am still trying to learn and change myself.

but i will play along and be a good spot to the world...



happy new year everyone, may your new year be filled with happiness.



everyday could be a new year if you changed for the better each day....

and everyday a valentine's day if you loved the right person.


my new year will come eventually.